going nuts

Another month was over.

Tomorrow will be another.

There are a lot of expectations. An awful lot of questions.
And I know the answer : It is better to have him home. It is better to have him close.

I am a little distraught. I confess my lack of direction. It's just not easy when you're not around. It's hard to always miss your voice, your face in the morning as it lights up, your constant giggles and rolls on the rug.

I want to walk while holding your hand. I want to act like a little kid with you. I want you to want to be next to me, and find excuses to do so.

Hell, don't mind me. I'm just nuts. But I love you very much.

“Love is never convenient—and rarely painless.”
~Richard Paul Evans~

on a day like this

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went
"Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."

darling, you had me at hamburger..

i am very much sure that my baby would like to lie on this bed tonight.

and i would like to join him.
~*winks*~

totally cute

my baby as he bids me goodnight.
~lovely~

what i miss most about chicken:

• his scent
• the maddeningly enigmatic smile
• his curls (okay. okay.) his lashes
• his tummy
• his hands reaching for mine when we cross the streets
• morning smooches
• his singing voice
• the brown eyes
• his almost-sleeping-hear-me-snore look
• goodnight super tight *hugs*
• his silly laughter
• his cooing ' i love you's '
  

PS
i sent you an email. just in case you miss me too.
xoxo my darling
~TTYL~

LOW

I wonder why I bother writing this.

I want to get my spirit and optimism back, but tonight I just don't have the energy. All I can think about is this longing I could barely stand.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH chicken.

Signing off, very low.
me

koo wait

Sorry, I haven't written for a while. I've been too dead in the afternoons. And evenings.

I got myself reading some books i found in my room. Most of it's garbage, but some of it makes sense.

I felt crazy today. Stomach pain made me miserable. My hands and feet tingled with cold numbness. It immobilized me. Thankfully, the pain has moved out of the scary level and is starting to feel like a cramp.

I am now waiting for chicken to pop out of the messenger. I know he's in there somewhere. Having dinner. Fixing things. Maybe talking. I MISS HIM.

It never stops. ( missing him i mean )

I sometimes busy myself with chores or writing or reading or finding a nice job.

But missing him is always a part of the routine.

And since I know i can never explain what i feel about chicken right now, I am going back to waiting for him to pop out of the messenger.

Oh Sweet! I'm excited.

THANKFUL

I got a little excited with the merry-making and reunions and eating here and there that i kinda neglected my duties as a writer. err a blogger. err a girlfriend. scratch that. make it a bloggerlfriend.

This is gonna be my first post for the year 2010. So i better behave.

Today, i will be making a list. A THANKFUL list.

The past year has been a very beautiful one. Y'all know that.

And I just want to stop, take a deep breath and count the things I have that I am grateful for.

Family, healthy bodies, spontaneous "I Love You's" from chicken, sunshine, hands to hold, books, food, comfy home, a bed to sleep in at night, evening conversations, happy breakfasts, memories of HK and Macau, laughter, sweet text messages and emails, poems, internet, safe journeys, new beginnings, warm friendships, hopeful tomorrows

for the hugs and kisses


for the ice creams


for the quiet moments


for a man i feel cherished by everyday


and for smiles that make my days bright.

Here's to a brand new year

... and another chance to get it right.

CHEERS to 2010!

XOXO

People who live the most fulfilling lives are the ones who are always rejoicing at what they have.
-- Richard Carlson